My friends, I can hardly contain my excitement.
I come to you from the very depths of hellbent; merciless walls of ash and rock. My heart thudded loudly in my chest as I explored this fell place. Many times a misstep was to plunge me into inexorable pain. Gradually did I learn to still my enthusiasm in racing from room to room to behold these wonders, for this often presaged a messy ending for yours truly. But I digress.
My friends, let me tell you of my discovery.
During my peregrinations in this underground wilderness, it was my most unfortunate experience to be constantly assailed by stalactites, and the odd evil monster. Such is the path of adventuring. Were I to describe but a few of these creatures you would surely run screaming, dear friend. But let me tell you now of my discovery.
Pausing at one stage to libate my parched throat, one of the fell beasts crept upon me unawares. I had the right of it, having claimed the room as my own, and dispelled the evil energies within. An it did persist, I yielded to the inevitability of combat.
We fought. Mental energies were exchanged; old wounds that I had thought healed thoroughly were opened anew; it was a particularly vicious combat, with neither of us wishing to give ground. I began to fear for my very life. Spying an overhanging protrusion, my mind seemed to work of its own volition, to weave its magic on the terrain. A stalactite fell, and struck the creature!
Surely I had not been the cause of this, I thought. But I had; deep within me I knew. I had caused a stalactite to spear the beast, drowning the cave in its ichor as its insides ruptured, and its foul breath escaped for the last time. Could I repeat it ? Oh my, I tried. In the weeks since I have thought of little else. Myself I have not been one for scholarly research, and if you will pardon my account of the experience, one you yourself I am sure could write much better, dear friend, I stand by what happened, as surely as I sit here now, I tell you this was so. I believe I was able to find the pressure points in the rock, the weak points, and gave it but a gentle nudge in the right direction. Imagine my own shock, that this happened. But I tell you, it did.
My friends, I am but a simple adventurer. But I tell you this, this I have discovered, for if it is possible once, it is surely possible a thousand times, or a thousand times a thousand. My friends, I leave you now to return to my studies. May the Powers watch over you and keep you from harm.
On the Timely Application of a nice big Rock.
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