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Minotaur help needed


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#1 Erk

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Posted 13 September 2007 - 03:47 PM

As far back as I can remember, one of the most loved neighbors of my family's farm has been this quirky old minotaur, Mr. Angus. He lived in quaint little ramshackle cabin at the edge of a glade and could always be seen out walking with his faithful companion, a plump and stodgy dairy cow named Bessie.

As a youth, I used to enjoy accompanying Mr. Angus and Bessie during their long walks through the woods, checking on their traps for wild boar and vixen. I'd tell him of the recent perils my family faced tending to our farm's chickens, and he'd share with me stories of his old glory days as a mercenary.

He was quite a reknowned warrior, travelling the world and gaining noteriaty under his surname, Blackhoof. He had seen many battles, fighting alongside royal soldiers, brigands, sailors, and townfolk alike. His braying challenge to battle was said to have struck fear into the hearts of many, and was often answered by the cry, "It's Black Angus! Run for your lives!!"

Since he's retired and settled down, it's difficult to imagine that such a personable fellow had such a tumultous past. He was always happy to have company as he went about scouting around the land, and often would share little tricks and techniques with me that he'd learned in his past.

Now that I'm older and running the family farm (after a tragic chicken-revolt that left me a lonely orphan), I often turn Mr. Angus for advice and assistance. But as I approached his cabin yesterday afternoon, I could tell something was wrong.

The front door was broken in and the furniture inside had been tossed about and broken. Scorch marks mottled the walls and it appears one of the back windows was blown out. I worriedly searched around for Mr. Angus but I was only able to find Bessie, his beloved dairy cow, grazing alone at the edge of the woods.

"What happened here, Bessie? Where's Mr. Angus?", I asked.

Bessie looked up at me and plaintively replied, "Mooooo!"

Often in the past while we trecked through the woods, Bessie would moo something or stomp her hoof and Mr. Angus would react like she'd said something. He'd be reminded of a trap we'd forgot to check, or would answer, "Yeah, it's gettin' pretty late. We'd better start headin' back." This would make me curious, and eventually Mr. Angus shared with me a little truth behind the rumors. This was that, although many of the more proud minotaurs would deny it, the ability to understand simple bovine-speech has been an innate ability in all those of his race since the days of their creation.

This little fact came to mind as I led Bessie back to the house. "Moo?", I asked, "Moo who?"

"MOO!!", Bessie replied, "Moomoomoo moooOOOooOoOo moo moo. Moomoomooooooo moo MOO MOO moooooooo mooo moomoo! Moooo moo moo moo moo moooo moo moo. Moo moo moo moo. Moooooo moo. Mooo mooo moo mooo moo moo. MoooooOoOoOooo mooo mooo moomoo mooooomooo moo mOOo moooo moo... Moo moo moo. Moooo mooo mooo mooo moomoo moo moooo moo. Mooo moo moooooo mooo Kasra Cola mooo moo moooomoomoo moo moo moo mOOooOOoOOooooo."

Bessie began mooving her head side to side as she talked. "Moo-moo-moo-moo-moo-moo MOO MOO MOOOOOOO! Moooo mooOOoo moo mooo mmoo. Mmmmmmooooooo mooooOOOooooo!" Then she flicked her tail and turned back to grazing. "Moo."

I was hoping by posting here that I could find a kind-hearted minotaur willing to translate for me so I could find out what happened to poor old Mr. Angus. I have a good memory for such things so I'm sure I've recorded exactly what Bessie said, though the spelling might be a little off.

If you understand what Bessie said, could you please post a translation here as soon as you can? I'm worried about my old friend Mr. Angus, and I fear that time may be working against us.

#2 Sprat

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Posted 18 September 2007 - 03:41 AM

I am distressed to see that no minotaurs have yet responded to your post. Perhaps they are a bit embarrassed that you have revealed the linguistic affinities between them and their (even more) dim-witted bovine cousins. While I am not a minotaur (thank Vandyne!), I do happen to be something of an amateur linguist. So, in the hope that this will be of some service to you, and that Mr. Angus Blackhoof has not yet been carved into fine, juicy steaks, I offer this translation of Bessie

#3 Calum

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Posted 30 September 2007 - 05:37 AM

Boomerwang arrives. With a flick of his tail, he vanquishes Perem. A hollering halfling is last seen cresting the horizon.

Boomerwang dusts his paws together, and nods at a job well done.

Boomerwang peers around the room with a devilish gleam in his eye. Boomerwang, the noble and inebriated, speaks several thousand languages, many lost in the mists of time.

Boomerwang can help!

Boomerwang has arrived too late. Shaking his head at the caprices of adventurers, with a flick of his mighty tail, he bounds once more over the horizon. A scream is heard.

#4 Calum

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Posted 30 September 2007 - 06:15 AM

Boomerwang, master of the dance.